Craig Gross

To All The Balding MEN…and Women

Lets be honest. 25 percent of men begin balding by age 30; two-thirds begin balding by age 60. There is a 4 in 7 chance of getting the baldness gene.

Baldness is the state of having no hair or lacking hair where it often grows, especially on the head. The most common form of baldness is a progressive hair thinning condition called androgenic alopecia or “male pattern baldness” that occurs in adult male humans and other species.

Some myths about baldness:

“Baldness can be caused by emotional stress, sexual frustration etc.”

“Bald men are more ‘virile’ or sexually active than others.”
   
“Frequent ejaculation causes baldness”

“Standing on one’s head alleviates baldness”

“Tight hats cause baldness.”

So, my best friend Jake started loosing his hair right after puberty it seemed like. We called it cul-de-sacs. My good friend David is now over 40 and has a full head of hair and even got lucky and and has no back hair but has something growing from his belly button. My dad has a full head of hair but my grandma on my mom’s side is bald. This is all a mystery.

I remember sitting in the green room with Ron Jeremy before a debate and he was looking in the mirror and said “I am going bald…can you tell?” I told him no. I lied. I told him he should get plugs. He said that would hurt to bad.

My neighbor runs The Hair Club For Men in Vegas. She said it does not hurt. I don’t believe her.

So, Sam Sanchez and I were talking about this last night. He is only 26 and started to see some hair loss and is freaked out. He tweeted about it which started this conversation.

Good old Rob Supan used to look like The Big Show with a full head of hair and now he has nothing. I remember the day we first shaved it all off for him.

I love Benny Hinn’s comb over. He just won’t let it go. Maybe his wife would have stayed if his hair stayed. Who knows…

I sometimes get hair in between my eyebrows, every now and then some nasty long black hairs in my nose, my big toe is getting hair on it but why do we loose it on our head?

Some advice from Uncle Craig.

If you are a male and still have your hair you got to do something now. Don’t wait till it starts to go.

I bought some Rogaine on Ebay. Make sure yours is not expired, that explains why mine was only 8 bucks. Stay away from  the foam. It reminds me of hair mousse. I have not used mousse since the 10th grade when I wanted to look like NKOTB and got a Body Wave. Get the liquid. Bathe in it. Just kidding. Put it on twice a day. I don’t know if it regrows hair but it is said it does a good job of just keeping what you have.

Second thing, start taking “Finasteride” that is what “Propecia” is basically. You don’t have to go to a doctor to get it. Welcome to 2010. You can get it online. Just google “Finasteride without a prescription” and you will find some great places in Canada, Sweeden and the Ukraine that will send it to you.  Supposedly, if you take two a day that is for “enlarged prostate” but you take one a day that is for your hair regrowth. Don’t worry the small pills are red not blue.

Can’t afford Rogaine and Finasteride? Go purchase a wig. I can’t wait to buy one someday. I  will rock the wig. I don’t have a recommended store to purchase yet but shop around. Possibly Craigslist.

Can’t afford a wig? Get a bandana like Bret Michaeals and Hulk Hogan wear. No one will ever know you are bald. I recommend the “red Hulkamania one”.

Have lots of money and like pain? Then try Hair Club for men or Bosley.

Don’t want to fix it?  Just cover it up then try this cool hair powder called folica.

Just like trying new thing?  Try the HairMAX laser comb. It looks like a woman’s straight iron but sends laser beams to your head as you comb. That reminds me of the Ab Energizer I once buy off the TV that sent lazer beams to by ABS instead of sit ups. Not sure.

That’s all I got. I started on the Rogaine and Finasteride but I am about as consistent as I am with flossing, using seat covers in public bathrooms and washing my hands after I go to the bathroom. 

I will try and be more consistent so I can actually tell you if it works or not. I might have a full head of hair when I am 80 but have no prostate or a really enlarged prostate. Will see. I honestly think if they can fix your eyesight in less then 5 minutes with lasik then we are not far off from someone inventing something that will fix this whole hair problem that 4 out of 7 men will deal with at some point.

That’s all I got.

Good night!

Craig